Should relationship reach-outs live on your daily execution deck, or in a habit streak app?

Irregular reach-outs, like calling a parent or messaging a mentor, don't fit a daily streak, because they aren't meant to happen every day. Put them on a daily execution deck instead: named people for today, on the same screen as your Top 3 and Today list, kept separate so neither hides. Billion Habit calls these "relationship touches".

Sources: the Billion Habit FAQ (deck definition; touches kept separate "so neither hides behind the other") and the live relationship touches definition. Category contrasts: Last Time and ReContact.

Short version:

1. Reach-outs are irregular by design. A daily tick is the wrong shape.
2. Name the person, not the intention. "Call Dad", not "network more".
3. Pick a rhythm per person. Weekly for some, quarterly for others. Your call.
4. Put today's people on today's screen, next to the work, not in another app.

A streak asks one question: did you do it today? That works for things you mean to do every day. Calling your mum isn't one of them. Most people don't want to call every day, and most mums don't want them to.

So the streak breaks, as it was always going to. The app shows a gap where the green squares were, and the thing you cared about now feels like something you failed at. For many people that's when they stop opening the app, and the reminder goes with it. More on that loop: why people quit after a broken streak.

The live relationship touches page puts it bluntly: a touch is "not a cell in a habit streak grid", and not "streak theatre (“message 5 people” as a green square)" (relationship touches). Turning your people into a daily target also gets the incentive wrong: one message to five people to keep a square green, instead of the one conversation that mattered.

Four tools get used for this job. Each fits a different shape of problem.

Examples of the middle two categories show the job is real:

• Days-since. Last Time is "a days-since tracker for iPhone and iPad", with "Keeping in touch" as one of its uses: "Call your parents. Catch up with a friend. Visit family." Mark it done "and the count starts over" (Last Time).
• Relationship reminders. ReContact (listed as "Coming soon · 2026" on its site) lets you "pick the people who matter and select a rhythm for each", sorts people by who is most overdue, and calls itself "an action list, not another database" (ReContact).

Both are sensible answers to "who am I losing touch with?" The deck answers a different question: when today's work fills up, do the people I meant to reach still appear on the screen I'm actually using? It isn't a CRM and doesn't claim to replace one. If you manage hundreds of professional contacts, a CRM is the right tool. If the problem is five or six people who keep slipping behind the to-do list, a second app is often the thing you stop opening.

Billion Habit's definition: a relationship touch is "a named person you intend to reach today: a message, a call, a check-in. Not a vague “network more.”" (relationship touches).

Counts:

• Call Dad about the weekend.
• Message Priya to ask how the new role is going.
• Reply to the mentor who sent the article.
• Book the dinner with the friend you keep postponing.

Doesn't count:

• "Network more" or "be a better friend". There is no person and no action.
• "Message 5 people". That's a quota, not a relationship.
• Work follow-ups that are really tasks (send the invoice, chase the contract). Those belong in Today or your Top 3.

A useful test: if you can't say who and what in one line, it isn't a touch yet.

There's no scientifically correct number of days between calls, and this page doesn't invent one. ReContact's approach of a rhythm "for each" person (it shows weekly, monthly and quarterly examples) is a better model than any single rule.

A simple way to decide, person by person:

1. How close are you, and how close do you want to be? A parent or partner may be weekly. An old colleague may be quarterly.
2. What does the other person expect? Some friends talk every few days; some are happy with a call each season.
3. What's happening in their life? A new baby, an illness or a job change is a reason to shorten the gap for a while.
4. What can you actually keep? A rhythm you keep beats an ambitious one you drop.

Then you don't need to see the whole rhythm every day. You only need today's names on today's screen. The deck holds today; your own rhythm decides who goes on it.

This is a decision frame, not relationship advice. If a relationship involves real difficulty, a general productivity guide isn't the right source.

There are two common models:

• Log the event. "Called Dad, Sunday." Good for memory and for noticing a pattern, such as "we only talk when he calls me".
• Count the gap. "23 days since I spoke to Sam." Good for spotting drift. This is how days-since apps work.

On a daily execution deck the main question is simpler: did the touch I planned for today happen? Billion Habit doesn't publish a days-since counter or a contact history for touches, so this page doesn't claim one. If you want both, a notebook line on Sundays ("who did I reach, who keeps slipping?") pairs well with a weekly review.

The failure isn't forgetting that your friends exist. It's that the to-do list always looks more urgent, so the people wait. As the live touches page says: "The list of tasks wins. The people wait." (relationship touches).

That is why the deck keeps them apart on the same screen. In the FAQ's words, a deck "separates today's habits and schedule from your relationship touches, so neither hides behind the other" (FAQ). The screen has four parts:

• Top 3: what must move
• Today: the day's load and hours
• Relationship touches: who you intend to reach
• Weekly score: whether the week held

Habits, if you use them, sit inside Today. They don't lead. How the first two fit together: Top 3 and non-negotiables on one screen. How the four compare with a tracker or to-do list: daily execution deck vs habit tracker.

You also don't have to fill touches every day. The live FAQ on the touches page answers that directly: "No. The deck is yours."

Relationship touches are part of the deck itself, not an add-on. Foundations, the free-forever plan, includes "your Today list, streak and score, uncapped, plus cloud sync and unlimited Mastermind pods" (FAQ), and touches sit on that same screen. You can use the deck without an account and sign in only when you want sync across devices.

Your list of people stays private. Mastermind pod members see "your display name, current streak, today's completion count, and the last seven days' scores", not your individual non-negotiables or notes (privacy). Names on your touches list aren't among the things pod members see. More on pods: accountability pods without a public feed.

• Not a CRM replacement promise. A deck shows today's names. It doesn't manage pipelines or contact records.
• Not relationship or therapy advice. It's about where reminders live, not about what to say.
• Not a social feature. Touches are a private list on your private deck, not posts.
• Not a guarantee. A name on a screen makes a call more likely to happen. It doesn't make it happen.

Pick one person you've been meaning to reach. Write their name and one action ("call about Sunday") next to today's Top 3. That's the whole idea.

Open a deck (Foundations is free forever, no account needed), or read the short definition: what are relationship touches?